In lieu of SBD, I bring you

AMANDA'S FIVE QUESTIONS!

[trumpet flourish]

(be prepared to fall asleep halfway through for lo! I am not exactly concise.)

1. Can you tell us who your favorite heroine is & why?

This is really, really hard. Really. First I thought Romance, in which case I was hard-pressed to choose between Leda (The Shadow and the Star) and Zenia (Dream Hunter, and yes - everyone hates that heroine, but I adore her). Leda for her unshakable confidence and Zenia because she's just so scared and fucked-up and tough.

But then I realized that I enjoy/admire those characters but "favorite" isn't the right word. So then I thought of Melony, from Irving's Cider House Rules, and I have to say: holy crapness, what an amazing character. It's almost painful to read her, she's so brutally honest and mean-n-ugly and pitiable. And funny. She's like Zenia to me - fabulously unpleasant and gloriously real. However, I don't think Melony can really be called a heroine.

So then, here's my favorite, after only a little thought: the unicorn, from the Last Unicorn. Because she's the only heroine I ever wished I could be, to the point that my heart aches.

2. What is your least favorite plot device? Any thoughts on plot driven vs. character driven novels?

I suppose I especially dislike rape or any variety of sexual assault when it's utterly gratuitous. Not that it can't be used, of course (my finished ms is about a rape victim, after all), but I keep finding it used as a kind of throwaway thing. Witness Gaelen Foley's Lord of Ice, where it's revealed that the heroine and many other girls at her boarding school had been regularly molested by some Guy In Charge Of Things. The heroine tells the hero, who goes and beats up Molester Guy (I think he maybe gets put in jail too), and about 3 paragraphs are spent on the heroine's quote-unquote recovery. It's like "Oh that bad man hurt me, thank you for nabbing him, I'm okay now." And never is it ever mentioned again. Ever. Not once. Not a single. Fucking. Word. In a few more pages, she's happily boffing the hero and all is well with the world. It was only put there as a way for the hero to rescue her, to show off how wonderful he is. Peee-yuke. (See also: Snow and Ashes, A Breath of, where rape isn't just for breakfast anymore.)

As for plot-driven vs. character-driven, I always say that I'm All About The Story, but the truth is that character trumps story ever time, for me. If a character is well-drawn and acts believably, consistently? Then story will always follow. Because story is about people doing stuff and dealing with stuff. It only goes wrong when you always give the priority to the stuff instead of to the people. That's what I think, anyhow.

3. What is the best way to resurrect the indie bookseller, if there are any left at all?

Ya know, this is a good question. Honestly? I don't like bookstores. Any bookstores. Indie bookstores are, in my experience, the most dislikable of the lot - bunch of pretentious snobs, most of whom wouldn't know good prose if it curled itself into their ears and purred there for weeks. At least if I go to a Borders, they aren't irredeemable assholes to me.

I pretty much buy online and I'm hardly alone in that, so I really think that would be the direction for booksellers to look: integrating the online experience with the in-store experience. The best of both worlds. So I could go into the bookstore and browse for new and interesting books, with the lil Staff Recommends cards on them - I love those things, handwritten reasons why so-and-so loved this book. Or didn't love it, for that matter. I'd love if I got a stack of the little cards myself, so I could write what *I* thought of the book, and add that to it - kinda like how the comments at amazon.com work, except I think the pool of commentators would be a little less of the Least Common Denominator. And then, I'd love a computer where I can punch in any keyword or author or title and pull up a whole selection - show me what's in stock now and what is not, but that I can order with the click of a button, and will be shipped right to the store for me, for little or no fee, there within a week for me to peruse.

Notice how important MY part in it all is - I want to have MY say, and I want to find the books MYSELF. Not that the staff shouldn't be friendly and available, but I want to be able to navigate without them. Take all that and put it with well-stocked shelves (a sadly missing feature of most bookstores, and almost all indies), and I'll be there every damn weekend spending money that I really don't have oh but who cares yay books!

4. Do you read the last chapter first?

I am an absolute nazi about reading ahead. Seriously. I feel incredibly sorry for the peek-aheaders of the world.

5. Name several favorite Chicago things to do/places to see that are off the tourist trail & yet vital to seeing the 'real Chicago.'

Ahhhh, this is hard! But we here at Sum Of Me are dedicated to making Rosina feel homesick, so here we go:

1. You gotta go to at least one neighborhood fest. Every neighborhood has em. Mine has a couple and I recommend the one next weekend, the Mayfest (weirdly being held in June this year). Some are free, some are a coupla bucks. All are in the streets, with an expanse of road shut down and people everywhere and plastic cups of beer. You're supposed to be drinking out on the streets and dancing to loud (usually local) music. Stick with anything that has a church or neighborhood name in it (Ukranian Village Fest or St. Mike's, etc.), and stay away from the big events (like Venetian Night and such). Check out metromix.com to know when and where they are.

2. Maybe not off the tourist path, but instead of going to the top of the Sears tower and hanging out on the observation deck trying to look interested, I always recommend heading to the John Hancock on a clear evening. Go up to the Signature Room restaurant (top floor) and order a chocolate martini at the bar. For your $6, the whole city is laid out before you and you get a cocktail.

3. You have to ride the red line El. It smell faintly of urine and there's usually a crazy and smelly person preaching his/her own gospel and asking for money and it's that scary-sad city experience, but if you turn to any single person and ask anything - a good place to get dinner, where to go once you get off at your stop, where can you get a dozen roses at 2 am? - you'll be genially answered and maybe even taken under the protective wing of a complete stranger. It's just how this place works. I've been offered the use of total strangers' cell phones, many times. This doesn't generally happen in major U.S. cities.

4. Take the brown line to the Rockwell stop (not right now, they're doing construction, so it'd have to be the Western stop and then you'll walk a few blocks) and visit Lake Claremont Press. They do non-fiction Chicago books - guides and histories and stuff like dat - and though that's the actual offices of the publishing house, it's also a storefront where you can buy their (exclusively Chicago-oriented) books. How cool is that? They even have a Free Books box out every once in a while, and you can help yourself.

5. Just a 3 minute walk from there is my place. Which is way off the tourist trail. Little-known major attraction of Chicago: Thunderpussy chewing on a plastic Christmas tree in June. (shuddup) And then I'll take you to eat!

6. You have to get deep dish, of course, and I swear by Malnati's - accept no others. Also breakfast at Ann Sather's where you must have cinnamon rolls, and I recommend the one on Broadway in Wrigleyville because you can walk around the neighborhood (which is a great example of everyday Chicago architecture) and check out the fun shops. Tapas at Iberico, ice cream at Sweet Occasions, a pepper and egg sammich (at about any diner, I guess), piles of German food and an oompah band at the Brauhaus, margaritas at Garcia's, a trip up to Devon for kick-ass Indian food, and of course the Spoon Thai. And that's just to start. There is just so much good food in this city.

7. Fly into Midway if you can and then rent a car and drive in on I-55. Yes, the drive on Lake Shore is mandatory, but what most people forget is that the skyline really is gorgeous from so many angles. Approaching from the south-west, especially if you do it at night with the city lit up, is a really breathtaking sight. Plus, you should just really drive around Chicago some. It's a driving kinda city, even though it also has terrific public trans. And no quest for a "real" Chicago experience would be complete without getting a migraine over whether or not you're allowed to park in this totally empty spot which looks harmless but my GOD, the rules that are posted might as well be written in Sanskrit.

8. See a play. I know people usually think of that as a requirement of New York travel, but Chicago is SO TERRIFIC for good, intimate, experimental theatre. Sure you can go see Wicked downtown, or any other number of big productions, but just don't bother. Go to Steppenwolf. Or the Goodman. Or to some theatre you never heard of that's located above a pizza place and costs $10/seat and comes with free beer. Good, small theatre is all over the city and just this really wonderful tradition. Go here to search for what's showing, and go here for brief reviews.


Yes, that list is pretty heavily centered on my corner of the city. It's the only one I know, sorry. There's all kindsa great food (and non-food things, too) on the south side, but I dunno the south side at all. And I'd recommend a blues bar, but I really haven't been able to find one I feel at home in - which is my fault for not looking harder.

Thanks, Amanda! That was fun! And long-winded! Hurrah!

And here's an apple-custard tart recipe.